Toronto Follows Houston Like Heaven’s Gate Follows Hale-Bopp

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

By: David Burgin

The Houston Dynamo chart their own course; moving with purpose and consistency. Toronto FC, on the other hand, follow a far less logical path.

Year in and year out Major League Soccer’s first Canadian team peers at each new soccer season, swollen with the promise of spring, through a warped telescopic lens. The vision staring back at the red clad FC’ers seems always to be one of a grand ship headed for the stars, ready for boarding.

Toronto’s entire organization, from front office, to players, to fans (even local stray dogs thawed out after another long winter on the lam) drools in a disturbingly awkward fashion. Large sums of money are raised via donations by the devout. Extravagant purchases follow, with the sole purpose being to gain access to the shining deck of the glory bound vessel.

Alas, my friends, the lens chosen by the Canadian dreamers was wickedly warped and the rocket ship full of soccer nirvana is but a barge filled full of filth; the imaginings of cold brain cells kept alive and rotting on an endless trip down the river Styx by gallons of snowy woods distilled, poorly stored, Canadian moonshine.

Tomorrow, The Columbus Crew host the spaceship/comet chasing Eh’ers. With the arrival on the Crew scene of Frederico Higuain, and coming off a hard fought 2-2 tie with one of the league’s best teams, Houston, the Black and Gold should be thrilled to see Major League Soccer’s version of Heaven’s Gate roll into town.

Frederico, in his first minutes for The Crew, wasted little time raising the hopes of all Columbus fans not sleeping late Sunday night. His eagerness to get involved at the slightest hint of a chance was only overshadowed by his drive to play the game the way it begs to be played; quickly, with passion and together.

Every game remaining on the schedule is a must win. The hill to the playoffs is steep, but the odds of watching exciting soccer as The Crew chase maximum points in the final third of the season took a turn in favor of the fan on Sunday.

Kick-off tomorrow is 7:30pm @Crew Stadium.

Cheers!