David de Gea | Global Football Today

Rio’s Revival!

Posted by Ivor Irwin on March 19, 2013 at 6:30 pm Blogs/Media, England, From the GFT Blogs, Global Football Today, Manchester United, Reading

Mar 192013

Manchester United 1-0 Reading
Manchester United’s match against Reading was like taking a duff date to dance. Could be your sister, your mother, your gran, your stepmother, Lidia Bastianich, Reading, Ragi Omar in drag or Dame Judi Dench. Well, yes, they did what was expected and played poor sad-sack rictus-riddled Reading, but, after a pathetic performance by Manchester City against Everton at Goodison, perhaps a bit more oomph and emotion had been expected. It was an easy, albeit plodding victory over a depressed, poor Reading side. Still a 1-0 win was enough. Enough to put them 15 points ahead of the sky-blue Abu Dhabian rent boys and two steps closer to a 20th League title. Of course, there are nine games left and a City comeback is still mathematically possible, but barely probable nevertheless. Should United win their next game against a relegation -zone mired Sunderland and City lose to a lowly ranked-but-resurgent Newcastle United, the red devils could feasibly clinch in the Derby match on April 8 at the Al-Itehad..

And United’s star of the evening? Well, David De Gea didn’t put a foot wrong; unfortunately, he had nothing top do but work on his English conversation skills with fans behind him in in the Stretford End. No, the galvanizing lord of the light and good was a certain veteran named Rio Ferdinand. The Peckham Kid, well and truly buoyed, it seems, having been recently recalled to the England squad after being involved in a long Wagnerian opera with its current and previous managers, Fabio Capello and Roy Hodgson, was involved in most of United’s clever connective play throughout. Indeed, having bemoaned Father Time’s slow asphyxiation of Rio’s capabilities as probably the most mobile centre-back in the world over the past fifteen as his wonky back and hamstrings have repeatedly betrayed him this season, I’ve been shocked at his recent return tio form andfitness.

Seven minutes in there was a sprint worthy of his mate Usain Bolt, as Ferdinand nicked the ball off Jobi McAnuff’s toe, took off, and then put in a superb fifty-yard seeing-eye-pass for a flying Ashley Young whose shot only narrowly went wide of Stuart Taylor.

Then, however, he took it to the next level when he created Wayne Rooney’s goal in the 21st minute. Indeed, his 20th minute energy surge, a 34-year-olds clever bit of stop-start running, as he backed up Gareth McCleary, surged past Mariappa, tapped a sweet ball to Wayne Rooney and bounced happily on his toes as the Scouse striker fired a bullet at goal which was deflected into the goal off stranded defender Alex Pearce. It was a sweet little ooh-ah moment for Rio, instant nostalgia as, like Ryan Giggs, he seemed to effortlessly throw off the shackles of age, back pain and jelly legs, for a fine minute or two of beautiful purity.

There were eight changes from the side which drew with Chelsea. Only Rooney, De Gea and Ferdinand took the field against nineteenth-placed Reading. With next week’s international break looming, United’s manager, Sir Alex Ferguson surely felt a sustained break could do the likes of Michael Carrick, Rafael Di Silva and Patrice Evra good. Much of the usual chit-chat on British sports radio has been taken up with discussion of just how much both physical and mental tiredness affected United’s Real Madrid and Chelsea results. Yet beyond the usual giggles about millionaire lifestyles, Wayne Rooney’s pack-of-fags-per-day habit and Ryan Giggs’ sex-life, there was something sad about pundits and fans on Talk Sports, et al ,whinging about the whinging coning from the Gaffer and Chelsea’s Rafa Benitez about players being tired. But with so many younger players from bothe clubs playing for G.B. at the Olympics, in international competition and the usual lack of a British winter break, there has to be a grain of truth in their exvuses. Are the squad all knackered, many fools ponder. If so, what’s the point of having a squad? And how come the constantly injured Anderson and Phil Jones seem exhausted also?

At any rate, aside from Hal Robson-Kanu’s 25-yard effort flying way wide and referee Lee Maon failing to blow for a Nemanja Vidic penalty area pushing foul on Adrian Mariappa. during a Nicky Shorey corner, Reading were mostly invisible. Named emergency manager after the firing of Brian McDermott in mid-week, Eamonn Dolan was like a man looking for a needle inside a haystack that had been tied to his back. Thus burdened, Dolan was smart enough not to get too excited when the warrior of the day, Rio Ferdinand, made a shamefully bad pass back to De Gea which Gareth McCauley picked off, but then, after a fine, tricky run, McCauley gave the ball away when faced down by Vidic and De Gea. That moment was Reading’s high water mark of the day: Welcome to the Premier League!

The second half was simply Dull. Much had been expected from Alexander Büttner and Anderson, but the only thing they were consistent about was giving the ball away. Büttner, Welbeck and Young all took shots before Robin van Persie botched a free-kick that Taylor saved. easily. Sir Alex Ferguson had only one uncomfortable surprise left up his sleeve when, after Ashley Young got into a painful collision with McCleary, he brought on Michael Carrick to shore up the midfield. Having told the press all week just how tired his midfield master was, the boss was worried enough about Reading stealing a draw that he took the route of least resistance and shut up shop.

“We must be vigilant,” Ferguson said after the game when he was asked about bringing on Carrick. “Horses for courses. We let our guard down collectively this time last year. I won’t allow it to happen again.”

The Choking Kind

Posted by Ivor Irwin on March 12, 2013 at 2:26 pm Blogs/Media, Chelsea, England, F.A. Cup, From the GFT Blogs, Global Football Today, Manchester United

Mar 122013

Manchester United 2-2 Chelsea
“I think, therefore I choke!”
Choking in sports gets to be a painful habit. I’ve observed it for years in Everton, Spurs and the England national team. But with vices becoming habits and the same old suspects trotting out the usual litany of garbled excuses, Manchester United have not simply had an accident on the Yellow brick Road, but thrown themselves under the wheels of their very own bus. Leading 2-0, United literally had a reeling devastated Chelsea team in the palm of their hand. That the game only ended up tied at 2-2 may be the greatest miracle since Bernadette of Lourdes shared this earth with us mortals. Sir Alex Ferguson’s dog-ate-my-homework excuse, that the lads were mentally and physically knackered after the circus that was the quarterfinal of the European Champions Cup really doesn’t convince anyone in March. What a difference five days makes. How does a team go from relentlessly thinking out loud about winning the Treble and being superior to the now legendary team of 1998-99 to worrying about holding on to its twelve point lead in the Premier League? What happened?

Meanwhile, moneybags Chelsea, for all their problems, have an awesome squad of midfield players which will challenge the rest of the division for at least another decade. Their clownish manager Rafa ‘The Tapas Waiter’ Benítez is a sensitive, funny fellow who needs to grow a thicker skin vis-à-vis the temporary nature of his position and the rivalry he feels toward Sir Alex Ferguson, who has outfoxed him a multitude of times over the years. Benítez, who is proud enough of his Roman Catholic faith that he feels the repeated need to announce to the world that he goes to church at least twice a day, 365 days per year, must, consequently, believes in miracles. A couple of savvy substitutions and a sixty minute choke by United aren’t really much of a miracle when you’re an unbeliever like me, but to Rafa, a draw surely tastes exactly like a win and the refusal of a gentlemanly handshake from the ungentlemanly maestro, the Gaffer, reads like a total diss but is just the human reaction of a bad loser to another one.
All of this, of course, is gassy rhetoric. United scored two sweet goals within the first eleven minutes and, later, Chelsea scored two exquisite goals of their own. However, had David De Gea–who, to be fair, did not have the best of days between the sticks for United, his distribution repeatedly dreadful throughout–not made one fantastic save and five ‘normal’ ones, the two clubs wouldn’t be whining about finding a date in their busy schedules to go at it in a Stamford Bridge replay.

The first goal came from one of Rafa’s substitutes, Eden Hazard, and was a beauty. The second, from Ramires, followed a wonderful move of classy, incisive counterattacking. Benítez’s team have not been renowned for their perseverance and competitive courage under his watch but they would have booked a place at Wembley were it not for an exceptional save from De Gea, jutting out his right boot to deny Juan Mata in the last minute of normal time. Even then, there were still three other separate chances where Chelsea’s fluid midfield penetration might have won the match and prevented the rigmarole of trying to shoehorn a replay into an already congested fixture schedule.

The transformation was remarkable, especially considering the way Chelsea began the match, their interplay riddled with errors, looking short of confidence and perhaps suffering their own fatigue. Ferguson was entitled to blame tired legs and minds but Chelsea, lest it be forgotten, did not get back from their Europa League tie against Steaua Bucharest until the early hours of Friday.

Thus, it only took five minutes for a perfectly weighted 40-yard lob off the foot of Michael Carrick to completely fool goalie Peter Cech. Deftly placed to a slow running Chicharito, all the Mexican striker had to do was put the softest bit of contact on the ball with the side of his head and United had the lead. It won’t win any awards at the end of the season, but it was a goal of true, unique beauty, nevertheless. Then, only six minutes farther along, with Chelsea in a state of total disorganization, Wayne Rooney, back in the line-up, lifted a floating free kick in the direction of Peter Cech’s far post. Both David Luiz and Demba Ba leapt high to head the ball, but somehow, both missed and it eluded a distracted Cech, again, and took an awkward bounce into the net to make it 2-0.

What happened to United then can only be conjectured upon. First the tricky Nani, who had been turning Chelsea’s left back Ashley Cole into a frustrated pretzel, pulled himself out of the game, claiming a hamstring injury. His substitute, Antonío Valencía, never got to warm up properly and somehow never seemed to get his head into the game. This bit of bad luck was followed by Cech, who had suffered an abysmal beginning, finally start to make some fine saves. To be sure, just on the cusp of half-time Cech stopped a shocking David Luiz miscue from scoring an own goal, right after stopping a superb shot on the edge of the box from Rooney. Unfortunately, at the same time, a passing rot had already set in as numerous one-touch give-aways saw Cleverley, Carrick, Nani, then his substitute Valencia, and then Rafael and Evra make it simply seem as if no one wanted the ball or felt even the slightest sense of responsibility. In the five minutes before the half time whistle I counted eleven United passes missing their target.

And for Chelsea, before that whistle blew for blessed half time, it’s enough to say that their best chances–when they weren’t being presented with gift passes by Cleverley, who might have been wearing a blue shirt–was a Victor Moses snap shot which hit the corner flag. Indeed, as Benitez left the field, the Chelsea fan entourage–clearly louder than United’s fans who seem to have left it all behind in the Real Madrid match, too–kept singing ‘You don’t know what you’re doing!” Did the tapas waiter feel lonely on his walk to the dressing room? You betcha by golly!

As of Monday morning, Fleet Street has heroicized Rafa as a savvy coach for seeing fit to bring on Eden Hazard and, more importantly, Obi Mikel Jon, but, really what alternatives did he have? With Hazard free on the right flank, Juan Mata and Ramires were no longer burdened with handling Carrick and Cleverley. Free to go where they pleased and gifted the ball repeatedly by Cleverley, Carrick and Valencia, Hazard, Ramires and Mata simply overwhelmed the Reds. And if Carrick and Cleverley felt any sense of adventure or machismo, Obi Mikel, grinning his gargoyle grin repeatedly kicking them into a state of cowed submission. Mikel, who has been relentlessly and repeatedly criticized by the press for his lack of football gravitas, also took on the John Terry role, repeatedly screaming at and cajoling Chelsea’s two erratic center backs, Gary Cahill and the sometimes brilliant-but-childlike David Luiz. For the whole second half, after Mikel took charge, Chelsea quit making goofy errors and the Chelsea midfield performed like a dream.

Chelsea scoring became simply a matter of time. Carrick, so gobsmackingly awesome in the first half hour, suddenly looked like the Gaffer had issued him a velvet smoking jacket and a pair of slippers. Locked in competition with Cleverley, Carrick’s passes were each more and more impetuously misplaced. To their credit, with a visibly aging Patrice Evra repeatedly left gasping in midfield and Rafael Da Silva running from flank to flank trying to stop every opposition run, Jonny Evans and Rio Ferdinand held the fort with an almost perverse stubbornness. In the 59th minute, however, the levee finally cracked. A few minutes after coming on for Victor Moses, Hazard picked up a Cleverley pass, wrong-footed Rafael twice, shifted gears, approached De Gea at an extremely acute angle before curling the ball into the net.

Nine minutes later, gifted the ball by Carrick, Demba Ba took off next to the tiny Oscar. Executing a beautiful double give-and-go they dissected United’s defense before Oscar connected with a sprinting Ramires, who cut into United’s box before firing a perfect left-footer past De Gea, who, although he made fingertip contact with the spinning ball, could not prevent it from squeezing in at the far right post.

All that was left was for United to hang on by their blessed fingertips. Indeed, only an absolutely fantastic reflex save off David De Gea’s foot one minute from time prevented Juan Mata from scoring with a wickedly accurate shot after a fine, mazy run through United’s defense.

There was an incident during the last ten minutes of the game where the cameras caught Rio Ferdinand laying a cheap-shot on his old foe Fernando Torres. Ferdinand may face censure and a suspension over an infraction that the referee, Howard Webb, clearly never caught. These two have been going at it for years and one only needs to go to You Tube to see a number of incidents both were involved in during Torres’ Liverpool days. As Rio has probably been overused by Ferguson lately, however, a few matches off might well do him good.

Just when the F.A. will pick a date for the match replay is a conundrum. Still, provided United can manage to maintain their twelve point lead at the top of the Premier League, a Sixth Round replay should now be a stress-free affair as winning a treble is a vanquished dream. With the prospect of facing Manchester City at Wembley as thee reward for beating Chelsea, a victory would be nice, but is certainly not a priority.

I was wrong about De Gea

Posted by Matthew Martin on February 18, 2013 at 1:03 pm Blogs/Media, England, EPL, Europe, European Champions League, Manchester United, UEFA Champions League

Feb 182013

There, I said it. Over the past two seasons, I have been one of the most vocal about De Gea not being good enough for Manchester United. He has very visible weaknesses. He struggles when a physical presence is required on crosses and set pieces, and his inability to speak English fluently greatly impairs his ability to command the back line. These are obvious, and were clear from the first big game against Manchester City in the community shield. The problem is, many people (myself included) never took the time to re-evaluate. Over the last couple of months though, I’ve come around. Not only do United have the best young keeper in the world right now, but they most likely have the best shot stopper in the world, period.

When evaluating goalkeepers, you have to also look at their supporting cast. When you look at United, you naturally would think that De Gea is surrounded by the best players possible. The problem with that theory is that it ignores the injuries and father time, which have wrecked havoc on United over the past two seasons.

Here are the appearances for Manchester United’s top defenders in the premier league so far this year: 26 total games played (starts)

Patrice Evra: 25 (25)
Rafael: 21 (20)
Rio Ferdinand: 20 (19)
Jonny Evans: 17 (16)
Chris Smalling: 12 (7)
Nemanja Vidic: 11 (10)
Phil Jones: 9 (5)

Nemanja Vidic has never really made it back to the every week starter, and defensive rock, that he was before his injury against Basel in the Champions League last season. With only 11 appearances so far this season for Vidic, De Gea has been deprived of not only his best defender, but the undoubted leader of this squad. Its clear to anyone watching that United are a much different animal when Vidic is in the lineup. It also speaks volumes that Evra is leading the way in appearances, and starts, while he is also seen by many as a weak link in the United defense. Far past his prime, its well known that Fergie was looking to bring in Leighton Baines as a replacement over the summer. The one bright spot has been the play of Jonny Evans. The player that pushed Pique out the door to blossom at Barcelona, has often been a disappointment to many United fans, but he’s been probably the most consistently good defender this season. With Vidic working his way back to full health, Rafael maturing into a world class right back, and Rio seeming to defy time, De Gea is set up to finally have some consistency in front of him for the rest of this season.

Now, getting to the man himself, one major argument in De Gea’s favor is to simply look at the stats. The below stats are from www.eplindex.com and show the comparison between David De Gea and Joe Hart. Hart is widely considered to be the best keeper in the EPL, more reliable, more mature, and generally favored by the media. Upon closer inspection though, De Gea is the clear winner. De Gea has obviously had to work more, 68 shots compared to 44, and over double the amount of saves per game. The one huge stat that took me by surprise was the aerial duels. De Gea won an astonishing 83% of his aerial battles, which flies in the face of everything you’ve have heard from people like me over the past 2 years. Clearly he doesn’t look the most confident, but its obvious that whatever he does works.

Saves: Hart – 44, de Gea – 68
Saves per game: Hart – 1.7, de Gea – 3.8
Saves to shot %: Hart – 65, de Gea – 77
Successful clearances: Hart – 26, de Gea – 24
Successful clearances per game: Hart – 1, de Gea – 1.3
Aerial duels won %: Hart – 75%, de Gea – 83%
Passing accuracy %: Hart – 60%%, de Gea – 56%
Total loss of possession: Hart – 224, de Gea – 188
Errors that lead to goals: Hart – 4, de Gea – 1

This plays into the other aspect of his game, his complete unorthodox style. This was on display for all to see in Madrid for their Champions League match against Real Madrid. Right off the bat, in probably his biggest game yet for United, De Gea made a save with his fingernails to dive and divert Coentrao’s wicked curling effort, that traveled through multiple players before being forced onto the post, in what was probably the save of the season. Later in the same match De Gea displayed what is quickly becoming his trademark, a glorious kick save of Coentrao’s effort. De Gea said: ”It all happened so fast, I got across and was lucky enough to save it with my feet. Overall, I am very happy with my performance. I am improving every day at Old Trafford and I am very happy.” Which has to make every Manchester United fan very happy to hear. De Gea has proven already that when it comes to pure shot stopping, he has very few peers … if any.

It speaks volumes that coming out of a Champions League knockout match between two of the biggest clubs in the world, where Ronaldo (arguably the world best player) faced his former team Manchester United (which he’s still in love with), the major talking point was not about any of that, but it was all about the greatness of De Gea. Well done sir, you’ve proved a lot of us wrong and for once, I am glad to admit my mistake.

Simply Marvelous in Madrid!

Posted by Ivor Irwin on February 15, 2013 at 3:27 pm Europe, European Champions League, Manchester United, Real Madrid

Feb 152013

Real Madrid 1-1 Manchester United

After an absolute gem of a football game, Manchester United’s former star winger Cristiano took the time to hug his old boss Sir Alex Ferguson long and hard. Having scored an awesome headed goal to tie an adrenaline-powered, brilliant game, CR7 may not have changed the minds of those who believe he’ll never be the equal of Barcelona’s Lionel Messi as the best footballer of his generation, but he did put to rest the rhetoric of the Haters who believe he never shows up mentally prepared for the big games. Indeed, considering just how good the Portuguese pretty-ManBoy is, just how well Manchester United played as a team against him and his supporting cast made for an epic, nerve-jangling, nail-biting night of magnificent football so good that it reminds us that we are human. I won’t be so bold as to believe that we are favorites going into a return match at Old Trafford three weeks from now, but I do sincerely think we own the very slightest, hair-of-my-chinny-chin confidence of owning ever such a slight advantage by virtue of having what will be an especially amped up crowd cheering for us.

Magnificent throughout, United performed on a razor’s-edge all night, keeping up a consistent balance between a relentless, hard pressing defensive game refreshingly free of the many errors they’ve been subject to all season and a fine ability to execute quick, probing counterattacks that kept the Spanish champions from ever going about their business on the front foot. With goalkeeper David De Gea taking care of business between the sticks at his old club’s nemesis, a star was born. Indeed, so good was the lean, leopard-like custodian that I imagine the rumors of both Barcelona and Real coming to get him and perhaps ultimately paying out the kind of money that was spent on Ronaldo do not seem unrealistic. As with Ronaldo, who was accused for years of being a one-trick-pony capable only of step overs, De Gea has been attacked relentlessly by critics for having difficulties with high crosses and no stomach for the physical side of the English game. Great players do not develop overnight in a vacuum, however. And although Ronaldo’s expensive supporting cast of Angel Di Maria, Mesut Ozil, Karim Benzema, Sami Khedira, et al, are all fine performers, they were out hustled by the sheer work-rate and commitment of all eleven Manchester United players. Even United’s weakest link, Patrice Evra,, all too often marooned on his old legs somewhere around the center spot, had nine teammates bound and determined to carry his cross.

It was no surprise that the ever-charming Jose Mourinho was more inclined to discuss how badly his tactics were carried out by his players than complimenting United for smothering them. More than a few folks were taken aback by his statement that United “parked the bus” at the Bernabeu. He actually sounded like he was talking about his own team Inter two memorable seasons ago when they played tar-baby to a frustrated Barcelona; but one is never sure whether the self-styled ‘Great One’ is being facetious, or not. Counterattacking has always been a stock-in-trade for Mourinho’s sides. In this sense, with his side built to feed Ronaldo with a relentless conveyor belt’s-worth of passes and attacking relentlessly, Sir Alex Ferguson beat the Great One at his own game.

Just how unfair those bitter comments from Mourinhoare is born out by just how close United came to scoring at least four times. Robin van Persie, who has been a goal machine, seemed awed at the occasion throughout and even. Ryan Giggs, a substitute who was received by Real fans with the kind of applause the Bernabéu faithful withhold to all but a great few, missed a gaping sitter which he was still be cursing himself over days later.

Those missed chances, however, point to the fact that, tactically, Sir Alex Ferguson got it right. Along with the counterattacking came containment. Phil Jones was incredibly energetic in midfield, both covering for Rafael da Silva as he moved up and slotting in next to him to cut down on Cristiano Ronaldo’s windows of opportunity. Even Wayne Rooney was there backing up Rafael and Jones. Still, even three United warriors couldn’t keep the brilliant winger quiet throughout. Despite being limited in opportunities, Ronaldo came shockingly close with at least three fantastic bazooka-like shots from around 25 yards out that all just missed the goal by a hair’s breadth. And although Real always looked the more relentlessly dangerous team, the only really good chance had by anybody save Ronaldo, happened five minutes in, falling to Fábio Coentrão whose shot hit the post before being pushed away by De Gea’s full-length save.

A weakness every football fans knows about is both sides’ vulnerability to crosses. Yet United, with both Ferdinand and Evans opting to stay close to goal throughout, managing to hold firm. Without the world’s highest-rated goalkeeper, the injured Iker Casillas, Madrid seemed weak at the back. Their stand-in keeper Díego Lopez, bought in January to replace the injured Casillas, along with Sergío Ramos and Rafael Varane, were all given a torrid time by Danny Welbeck.. Criticized by many for not picking a traditional winger like Nani or Young,, the Gaffer opted for Robin Van Persie and Wayne Rooney pumping in the passes the strong, muscular native Manc.

The first goal of the game, 20 minutes in, proved Ferguson right for being a gambler. With Shinji Kagawa, Welbeck and Rooney all behind Van Persie and the pesky Kagawa repeatedly running in behind him, a frustrated Varane gave up a corner. Rooney’s corner went over Jones, but with Varane and Ramos locked in on Robin Van Persie, Welbeck was able to push away both of them in the six-yard-box, dipping his header past Diego López. Often too hot to handle for either Real center back, Welbeck also came close to scoring again five minutes after Ronaldo’s equalizer leaving Varane for dead as he raced for Van Persie’s left-wing cross but botching his footwork as he tried to execute a delicate volley.

Ten minutes later, though, after much frustration for both Ozil, and Di Maria, Fabio Da Silva had trouble in the corner with Ozil. Stealing away with the loose ball, Angel Di María whipped his cross into the penalty area for Ronaldo who rose above a very mortal Patrice Evra–remarkably high with both of his ankles conjoined, like a basketball player executing a text book jump shot–and nodded home a bullet header into the bottom left corner that left De Gea clawing at the empty air.

The second half was more of the same. And although Real Madrid owned the lion’s-share of possession, they never looked capable of being lethal when Ronaldo was off the ball. Frustrated throughout, Real consciously upped their foul count. And, ten minutes into the second half, Varane was unbelievably fortunate that the German referee, Felix Brych, gave him the benefit of the doubt after a thuggish challenge on Evra, who was running unmarked on to a beautiful defense-splitting Michael Carrick pass.

In the waning moments of the match, both teams battled bravely. De Gea saved yet another Sergio Coentrão effort with his feet, thumping the spinning ball away from inside his right-hand post. Then a screaming Ronaldo free-kick dipped on to the roof of the net. Then a selfless Rooney sent Van Persie clear and Diego López reached to finger-tip the shot on to his post. Seconds later, after a lightning transition, Van Persie scuffed at a perfect pass to beat a wrong-footed Lopez only for Xabi Alonso to clear.

In a last bizarre moment during stoppage time Diego López denied Van Persie. Instead of allowing the resultant corner, the referee blew his whistle, simultaneously ignoring an incident that saw substitute Pepe kick Jonny Evans for no apparent reason.. The good Lord Ferg, often the lightning rod for venting vexation in similar Premier League situations, was a surprising island of calm. A rosy-cheeked Pict Buddha, he calmly raised his hands in the direction of both an outraged Jonny Evans and an only slightly calmer Rio Ferdinand, spread his fingers and broke into a Cheshire Cat grin. It wasn’t a perfect display from his team, but there was no way the questionable ethics of any referee were going to spoil this night.

United Thoroughly Dominate Everton!

Posted by Ivor Irwin on February 12, 2013 at 1:42 pm England, EPL, Everton, Manchester United

Feb 122013

Manchester United 2-0 Everton
“I can sometimes be a slow learner,” Sir Alex Ferguson said in a rare interview with the BBC broadcast on Thursday. It was an interesting comment, not so much because it showed the old warrior’s unique mode of integrity or the hurt he feels at only having won only two European Champions’ Leagues. The utter humiliations of last season’s second-place finish to Manchester City accompanied by a 6-2 home loss to the Abu Dhabian sky-blue rent boys genuinely left a scar. United have a 12-point advantage with just 12 games to go, but last season’s choke at the very death of the season seems to have genuinely pushed Britain’s greatest veteran manager to reassess his status and methodology as a coach. The loss at Old Trafford to City was painful, but, worse, in its own way, was a humbling draw at home to Everton after his team had been leading 4-2 going into the last five minutes of the match before finishing 4-4. That game and a nightmare first fixture this season at Goodison Park in which the Toffees were allowed to bully and intimidate a passive, mentally detached United team still slowly awakening from a Summer of sloth. Even the most vocal pro-United pundits, like The Guardian’s Daniel Taylor began pushing the panic button early this season.

Well, it has taken awhile, and United have been far from brilliant all season, but on Sunday night Everton were comfortably dominated and defeated by a team playing like a team. The cliché may indeed be that there is no ‘I’ in team, but United were well and truly kept on a tight leash by their boss. And for those expecting something sloppy and lackadaisical after last week’s shoddy victory over Southampton, it was no such thing. With Phil Jones given the single, urgent errand of marking the awkward, troublesome Marouane Fellaini, Everton’s star performer never got into the game. Indeed, the Moroccan midfielder was so frustrated that he was hacking down any United player in his vicinity and more than a little fortunate not to see red from the referee Mark Halsey. Forced to drop deep to see any of the ball, he was not a factor in the game at all.

Meanwhile, playing out of his skin, the awesome 39-years-young Ryan Giggs ended up scoring for the 23rd season in a row. A thorn in Everton’s side all day, the wise Welsh wizard was, like Wayne Rooney, all over the field throughout proceedings. Taken along with Manchester City’s defeat at Southampton, United did not look like a team capable of self-destructing and losing their twelve point cushion at the top of the Premier League. And although many fans are praying for United to self-destruct once again, no such thing is going to happen.

United dominated from the very beginning. and the Toffees were never even close to finding their rhythm when their usually foolproof offside trap went awry only ten minutes in as Phil Neville went after a hard-running Wayne Rooney a second too early, which allowed Robin Van Persie the time to round Tim Howard and stare at an open goal before forcing a massive collective ‘Ooooh!’ out of the crowd by shooting awkwardly with his weaker right foot and hitting the outside of the post. But, only three minutes later , John Heitinga, only playing because of a late injury to Sylvain Distin, failed to stop a header from Valencia after a superbly passed set-up by Rafael Da Silva. The ball fell to Van Persie who tapped it sideways to an unmarked Ryan Giggs who rolled the ball in off the post with a neat poke from his right toe.

Still, even though they were severely blunted without the bustle of Fellaini up front, Everton were still a threat and both Leon Osman and Kevin Miralles forced yeoman defensive work out of David De Gea and Nemanja Vidic. Then, right on the stroke of half-time, United beat Everton’s offside trap once again as a beautiful seeing-eye pass, again from Rafael beat Neville, found Van Persie and the ruthless striker rounded Tim Howard again, making no mistake this time, firing home despite a desperate diving move from Heitinga to block it.
United held on to their lead well in the second half, playing a superb game of reactive football throughout. and both goalkeepers made a series of splendid saves throughout. Instead of worrying about Real Madrid on Wednesday I am relishing the prospect of a football feast. Now that they are playing their best football in two seasons, United are clearly about as ready for this fixture as it;’s possible for them to be.

As Everton’s manager David Moyes put it after the match. “It’s only our fourth league defeat this season and I would say it is the only game where a better team has beaten us.“

Ruthless Rooney Helps United Retain Momentum

Posted by Ivor Irwin on February 5, 2013 at 2:24 pm Blogs/Media, England, European Champions League, From the GFT Blogs, Fulham, Global Football Today, Manchester United

Feb 052013

Fulham 0-1 Manchester United
Often fragile this season, Manchester United showed a strong sense of confidence and resilience while helping themselves to a narrow 1-0 away victory over a determined, diligent Fulham side at Craven Cottage. Despite a massive twelve minute power brownout, the Red Devils’ shrugged off the difficulties of flickering floodlights, the bitter cold and a stuttering strike force to create an intimidating 10-point lead at the top of the Premier League over their main and local rivals at Manchester City. On a night when even United’s talisman striker Robin Van Persie seemed hesitant and slightly off-kilter, job number one was carried out with a ruthless acumen and efficiency by Wayne Rooney.

With the wind-chill off the Thames registering temperatures way below zero, United arrived in southwest London in an attacking mood. With both Antonio Valencia and Nani having both been a disappointment this season, it was a surprise to see Sir Alex ferguson throw the dice and put both wingers on the field simultaneously as part of a 4-4-2 lineup. And it only took eight minutes for United to twice come close as a Carrick corner ricocheted off Brede Hangeland’s shoulder and an unmarked Patrice Evra somehow botched firing home in front of an open goal. His anemic shot was blocked by Philippe Senderos, followed by a brilliant block on the part of John-Arne Riise on the goal line from a blistering Rooney volley.

But this was a completely different Fulham side to the one which had faced United at Old Trafford in the F.A.. Cup a week back. Unburdened of the presence of their shiftless, ball-hogging striker Dimitar Berbatov, the Cottagers’ warmed up their freezing fans with a surprisingly untypical game of pressing, fast-break counterattack. Led by the big Norwegian redhead John-Arne Riise down United’s left flank, United were caught with their pants down more than a few times. Only a brilliant reflex save from the much maligned David De Gea saved United from falling behind. Then, only minutes later, De Gea’s reflexes were successfully tested again as he tipped another Bryan Ruiz shot away off the post.

Consequently, the pattern of the game was set as Fulham kept ten men behind the ball while double making and pressing Carrick and Cleverley. Yet just as Fulham were holding their own, United executed a lovely bit of business in midfield as Nani dribbled into the box, located Cleverley and he set the table for Rooney to smash another unstoppable shot that somehow hit the post.

Then:, out of nowhere, darkness on the 42 minut mark as, just when Rooney was taking a corner, there was a brownout. After a tedious, cold ten minutes, the teams played out the game’s last four minutes before trooping off the field for a second time.

United carried on dominating possession in the second half, but with Carrick and Cleverley repeatedly unable to bolster up action through the middle, the Gaffer forced a tactical change on Fulham’s defense when Chicharito Hernandez replaced Valencia and Rooney took over the left flank in front of Patrice Evra. Yet, just as United looked to be at both their most casual and comfortable, Fulham squandered a couple of fine opportunities as Ashkan Dejagahteed set up Sascha Riether for a low drive, which De Gea did well to save before a brilliant flying Rafael leapt to deflect Ruiz’s header off the line.

Finally, in the 79th minute, Fulham’s slow-footed Philippe Senderos overran a long Evra pass. Then came Rooney’s moment: a clearance by Patrice Evra was misjudged by Senderos, allowing an unmarked Rooney tons of space to hoover the ball up on his left side and shift on the fly to his right, before coolly slipping the ball past a an oncoming Mark Schwartzer.

The one goal, proved to be just enough to suffice for United. Having kept a clean she without any slight sign of nervousness, David De Gea’s ownership of the goal keeping position looks to be back on track. With an in-form Wayne Rooney crackling like bacon in a cast-iron frying pan, England’s international team ought to give Brazil a run for the money on Wednesday.

Sanctified!

Posted by Ivor Irwin on February 1, 2013 at 3:49 pm England, EPL, Manchester United, Southampton

Feb 012013

Manchester United 2-1 Southampton
Manchester United made hard work out of what should have been an easy victory at Old Trafford against Southampton. We have won pretty and won ugly this season. This win was something in between, a sort of zombie walkabout broken into periodically by Southampton’s awkward young team of blossoming journeymen. Like a sleep-deprived medical intern coming to the end of a 96-hour shift, United seemed to punctuate long bouts of shiftless indolence with flashes of inspiration and urgency. Nevertheless, they somehow got the job done, putting themselves seven points ahead of an even more lethargic Manchester City, who were held to a draw by Queen’s Park Rangers. Indeed, poor Mike Phelan, who seemed to spend the night shuffling between the Gaffer’s throne and the team technical area, spent a lot more time than usual barking out orders and looked just as knackered as his players when Lee Mason blew his final whistle. Better yet, with Chelsea and Tottenham Hotspur also being held to draws, the status quo of two weeks ago was restored and Fergie’s boys find themselves well and truly in the driver’s seat.

United were stunned only two minutes in when a dreadful Michael Carrick back-pass was stared at and dithered upon by David de Gea as the Southampton striker Jay Rodriguez took control of the errant ball, swerved around the Spaniard and fired the visitors into the lead with a nice diagonal effort. Caught, bang-to-rights in the middle of singing ‘Glory Glory Man United!” the Stretford End went deathly silent for a pregnant minute before regrouping impressively. At that awful moment, the body language of De Gea, who has been relentlessly vilified by .his former teammate Gary Neville and an army of football journos was sad to behold.

Not that the Saints’ had long to enjoy their precious lead, though. Five minutes later United went level as Carrick wiped the sleepies from the corners of his eyes and, stole the ball away from Gaston Ramirez with a an uncharacteristically crisp, snapping tackle.He then executed did the kind of zigzag sprint fans are unused to seeing in our midfield these days and fired off a pass that was intercepted by Schneiderlin, but bounced away into the path of an advancing. The fleet-footed Japanese then slid a clever pass in behind their defense that Rooney confidently ran into before shooting gently past Artur Boruc and Carrick was redeemed.

Temporarily wide awake, United simply overran their opposition . And when a stupid Ramirez foul inside the box gifted Robin Van Persie a free kick 26 minutes in, Rooney was in the exact perfect spot to tap home the result of the Dutchman’s perfect high pass to Evra for him to head down.

Little can be said about the rest of the match which is worthwhile. Kagawa, Evra, Van Persie (twice) and the perpetual-motion-machine which is Danny Welbeck, all squandered easy-peasy chances, both before and after Rooney’s second. And when Kagawa hit Boruc’s right post from close range after Rooney dinked the ball through to him, Rooney’s verbal barrage of red-faced clearly vented frustration at the wanton, wastefulness of his colleagues was clear for all to see and hear. Of course, Southampton owed a lot to the first-rate goalkeeping of Artur Boruc, but United never seemed quite ruthless enough on the night to go beyond their two early goals. Indeed, the chorus of oohs and ahhs reached a frustrated crescendo as brilliant pirouette followed by a slick layoff from Kagawa fed Van Persie, only for him to put his foot through the ball, blasting it way high over the bar.

Mauricio Pochettino, in only his second game as boss of the Saints, must be well aware that his weak young squad is deeply mired in and around the bottom four teams in the the Premier League. Well aware that his side truly had their backs to the wall, the Argentine rang the changes at half time, replacing Jason Puncheon and Gaston Ramírez with Steven Davis and Adam Lallana in midfield. Very much encouraged by the reticence of both Carrick and Anderson to tackle in their own half, a speedy young Southampton side suddenly began exuding confidence as Rickie Lambert had a shot brilliantly saved by De Gea. Schneiderlin, Lambert and Rodriguez all took advantage of Patrice Evra’s inability to double-clutch and run. Luckily all three were equally inept at executing the final coup-de-grace. After Welbeck conceded a corner to Evra’s master, the brilliant young Natty Clyne , Rooney was forced to concede a second. Having shrugged off Smalling, Lambert leapt high over United’s defense but somehow miraculously conspired against himself to head down Schneiderlin’s beautiful floating corner ball and, still unmarked, with all the time in the world, blast wide of the goal.

With United truly on the ropes for the first 30 minutes of the second half, De Gea almost bollixed his job up again as Schneiderlin’s lightly hit 25-yard free-kick was bobbled and six Southampton players charged toward him for the rebound. Luckily, he recovered and when, minutes later, Robin van Persie looked to have put the Red Devils’ 3-1 up with a strike off a superb Wayne Rooney cross, there was a chorus of boos as the referee blew for a controversial offside after consulting with his assistants.

Last, but not least, was the moment of nail-biting drama as, with seconds to go, the gazelle-quick De Gea well and truly redeemed himself for Southampton’s opener with a fine reflex save off a superb Rickie Lambert free-kick.

“The truth is that they were the better side,” Sir Alex Ferguson said after the match. “They actually did us a service, because they showed up all our defensive deficiencies all at once.”

The Blame Game!

Posted by Ivor Irwin on January 21, 2013 at 6:58 pm Blogs/Media, England, From the GFT Blogs, Global Football Today, Manchester United, Tottenham

Jan 212013

Tottenham Hotspur 1-1 Manchester United
The secret, they said, was to contain Gareth Bale and Moussa Dembele. Sounded good. Contain those two, every so-called pundit and expert insisted and, just like always, you’ve got the same old weak-willed bunch of North London sob sisters. What every one hadn’t counted on, however, distracted by the obnoxious desire for attention of the club’s abrasive, street hustler/ Spiv Chairman Daniel Levy. is that the club has finally hired a brilliant , worthy manager in Andres Villas-Boas.

Late in the game, with an exhausted Manchester United team no longer able to control the match’s tempo, Sir Alex Ferguson gambled on playing rope-a-dope from the 80th minute on. Knowing exactly what Dembele and Bale do is intellectually do is one thing, dealing with it in practice is something else again. Left to his own devices, Aaron Lennon is the most predictable overrated winger in the Premier League. Carefully marked, he has been little but an ooh-ah distraction against the likes of Stoke City and Bolton Wanderers for years. One on one in a foot race with the stubborn Peter-Panish Patrice Evra, Lennon got his own bit of pay back for at least seven seasons of getting his head handed to him, by rubbing the faded French left back’s nose in a giant pile of poo for final thirteen minutes. Revenge, in the case of Aaron Lennon, is sweetest when served dim-witted and cold!

Despite the onset of early senility in many athletes, however, Evra at the age of 31, has finally been gobsmacked by the vicissitudes of time and fate. As the French say, “?Cette fille sexy et jeune est maintenant une grosse, négligée femme au foyer!” A team-player of the first order, a hard worker, and a real gentleman, Paddy is much loved by the fans, the Gaffer and most of his United teammates. Unfortunately, although he still succeeds with many aspects of his attacking game, including his admirable leapimg ability for corners, his legs have gone. When you can no longer run with a player who has no more to his game than speed, sudden stops, and step-overs, the end is no nigh. The prospect of Paddy facing the combined switcheroo antics of Angel DiMaria, Mesut Ozil and CR7 against Real Madrid has me reaching for my trusty bottle of Johnny Walker Black!

Consequently, United exposed themselves to the cruelty of a late late dagger into its tubercular defensive underbelly, when United’s thus-far heroic goalie, a partially blocked David De Gea weakly punched a cross towards Lennon and Evra. The speedy little Yorkshire pocket-rocket simply had to skip around the knackered veteran before tapping the ball into Clint Dempsey’s path. Poor De Gea, awesome all afternoon, was totally exposed as the whole back line, petrified of Gareth Bale, shifting right with the Welshman and the one who likes to have himself called ‘The Texacutioner,’ despite being utterly, toothless throughout the rest of the match was there on the spot to spare his club defeat and destroy United’s seven point lead over the Abu Dhabian rent boys of Manchester City.

In spite of the incompetence of Chris Foyle, United should have been leading by three or four goals, so dominant and brilliant was their counterattacking play. Unfortunately, chance after chance was squandered. For me, however, despite the dreadful ineptitude of Evra, this was the best team performance by Manchester united this season. If the team’s major weakness on the left flank can be solved, however, the big picture is much improved for the club.

Of course, the obvious will hold true if you look at Spurs’ statistics,. The north Londoners controlled possession for close to 60% of their home match, but their finishing was so repeatedly, inexcusably dreadful that United always looked the more likely to get a second goal throughout. With David De Gea pulling off three fantastic saves from Defoe, Bale and Lennon (and Emanuel Adebayor off playing for Togo in South Africa), striker Jermain Defoe simply never seemed truly up to the task against Rio Ferdinand. After what was probably his worst display ever in a United shirt in the 3-2 loss to Tottenham at Old Trafford in September, the Peckham Kid has learned to keep his perimeter tight of late and the proximity of a fit Nemanja Vidic didn’t hurt, either. The way Ferdinand has adjusted to doing less better of late ought to have been both a lesson and a warning to Patrice Evra, but the Frenchman has not yet adjusted to the cruelties of time.

And just how good is Robin van Persie? RVP’s 22nd goal of the season midway through the first half was a little bit of burglary out of Mission Impossible. After Kagawa picked the ball up in midfield, he pushed it into Carrick’s path. Carrick hit an exquisite Pirloesque cherry to Danny Welbeck on his left and the young Manc striker cut inside, seeming to dither a moment about taking a shot before cleverly locating Cleverley. Just how Cleverley’s cross was found by the flying Dutchman, who was double-marked by both Dawson and Caulker, managed to get to the ball is a miracle us mortals can only contemplate upon. Once the cross reached Van Persie there was an inevitability about where it would finish. Shrugging the Spurs center backs aside, Van Persie headed the ball home. Wow! He now has 10 goals in his last 10 league matches.

Just how well both teams performed is the snow is to their credit as professionals. The pitch was only passed fit for play an hour before kickoff. Two of the more amusing sights on the sidelines were Spurs’ boss Andres Villas Boas, swathed in blankets, attempting to remain warm and still and Sir Alex Ferguson, so absorbed in the game’s second half, that he didn’t notice his woolly club tam was then wrong way round on his head.

In the cruel postmortem which has followed this match, the Bury accent of Gary Neville has communicated itself loud and clear. The tying goal is the fault of an eccentrically passive/aggressive David De Gea, he insists in all of his pundit gigs for television and radio. His opinion does indeed count for something and he’s gone out of his way to show how the ‘body language’ of Vidic and Welbeck after the equalizing goal was scored showed ‘anger’ at the Spanish custodian. At the same time, another teammate, Javíer Hernandez, has been Twittering that he and other teammates beg to differ. Coupled with Rumor Mill-mongering from the usual pool of hacks who make their bread and butter out of conjecture, the repeated word is that the Gaffer has fallen out of love with the young goalie. This is inevitably bound to become a self-fulfilling prophecy; and, ultimately, perhaps one which will be best for all concerned, if a more seasoned veteran is signed. Mark my words, however, David De Gea will eventually be a superstar! Such is life lived in the goldfish bowl of playing for Manchester United and the need to be in the good graces of a London=biassed, barracuda-like press.

*”That sexy young girl is now a fat sedentary housewife!”

United Draw & Start A Blame Game!

Posted by Ivor Irwin on January 21, 2013 at 6:04 pm European Champions League

Jan 212013

Tottenham Hotspur 1-1 Manchester United
The secret, they say, is to contain Gareth Bale and Moussa Dembele. Sounds good. Contain those two, every so-called pundit and expert insists and you’ve got the same old weak-willed bunch of North London sob sisters. What every one hadn’t counted on, however, distracted by the obnoxious desire for attention of the club’s Mephistophilean Spiv Chairman Daniel Levy. is that the club has finally hired a brilliant manager in Andres Villas-Boas. Late in the game, with an exhausted Manchester United team no longer able to control the match’s tempo, Sir Alex Ferguson gambled on playing rope-a-dope from the 80th minute on. Knowing exactly what Dembele and Bale do is intellectually do is one thing, dealing with it in practice is something else again. Left to his own devices, Aaron Lennon is the most predictable overrated winger in the Premier League. Carefully marked, he has been little but an ooh-ah distraction against the likes of Stoke City and Bolton Wanderers for years. One on one in a foot race with the stubborn Peter-Panish Patrice Evra, Lennon got his own bit of pay back for at least seven seasons of getting his head handed to him, by rubbing the faded French left back’s nose in a giant pile of poo for final thirteen minutes.

For those who appreciate footie ironies, both started playing in the Premier League in January 2006. Lennon, eighteen at the time, one of Levy’s usurious bargain purchases from the diseased bankrupt body of Leeds United and Evra from Monaco as a replacement at left back for the brilliant, but constantly injured Gabriel Heinze. In combat for six seasons, it was never any contest. The contest for fastest but least brightest between Jermaine Jenas, Jerome Thomas, Aaron Lennon, Matty Etherington, Ashley Young. Theo Walcott and Lennon was always won by the spring-heeled latter. Despite the onset of early senility in many athletes, however, Evra at the age of 31, has finally been gobsmacked by the vicissitudes of time and fate. As the French say, “Cette fille sexy et jeune est maintenant une grosse, négligée femme au foyer!” *A team-player of the first order, a hard worker, and a real gentleman, Paddy is much loved by the fans, the Gaffer and most of his teammates. Unfortunately, although he still succeeds with many aspects of his attacking game, including his admirable leapimg ability for corners, his legs have gone. When you can no longer run with a player who has no more to his game than speed and step-overs, the end is no nigh. The prospect of him facing the combined switcheroo antics of Angel DiMaria, Mesut Ozil and CR7 has me reaching for my trusty bottle of Johnny Walker Black.

Consequently, United exposed themselves to the cruelty of a late late dagger into its tubercular defensive underbelly, when United’s thus-far heroic goalie, a partially blocked David De Gea weakly punched a cross towards Lennon and Evra. The speedy little Yorkshire pocket rocket, simply had to skip around the knackered veteran before tapping the ball into Clint Dempsey’s path. Poor David De Gea, awesome all afternoon, was totally exposed as the whole back line, petrified of Gareth Bale shifted right with the Welshman and the ‘Texacutioner,’ despite being utterly, toothless throughout the rest of the match was there on the spot to spare his club defeat and destroy United’s seven point lead over the Abu Dhabian rent boys of Manchester City.

Sir Alex Ferguson may have barked at the officials and the press about the dreadful refereeing of Chris Foy and his awful assistant Simon Beck, but it just seemed to be more of the same of what the fiery old Scot. always does after tight draws and losses. Doubtless United did deserve the penalty call they did not get when Steven Caulker blatantly upended Wayne Rooney to the turf in the penalty box in the 61st minute. The truth is, however, that despite often being surprisingly imperious in midfield and deserving a one goal lead from a superb Robin Van Persie effort in the 25th minute, United just did not take advantage of the scores of counterattacking breaks they had in both halves. In spite of the incompetence of Chris Foyle, United should have been leading by three or four goals, so dominant and brilliant was their counterattacking play. Unfortunately, chance after chance was squandered. For me, however, despite the dreadful ineptitude of Evra, this was the best team performance by Manchester united this season. If the team’s major weakness on the left flank can be solved, however, the big picture is much improved for the club.

Of course, the obvious will hold true if you look at Spurs’ statistics,. The north Londoners controlled possession for close to 60% of their home match, but their finishing was so repeatedly, inexcusably dreadful United always looked the more likely to get a second throughout. With David De Gea pulling off three fantastic saves from Defoe, Bale and Lennon, and Emanuel Adebayor off playing for Togo in South Africa, striker Jermain Defoe simply never seemed truly up to the task against Rio Ferdinand. After what was probably his worst display ever in a United shirt in the 3-2 loss to Tottenham at Old Trafford in September, the Peckham Kid has learned to keep his perimeter tight of late and the proximity of a fit Nemanja Vidic didn’t hurt, either. The way Ferdinand has adjusted to doing less better of late ought to have been both a lesson and a warning to Patrice Evra, but the Frenchman has not yet adjusted to the cruelties of time.

For one of the few times this season, United played truly well for 80 minutes and were always dangerous. Danny Welbeck, although not much of a scoring threat these days, was a worker bee throughout, and, along with the twinkle-toed Shinji Kagawa, who was in his element in a winger-less midfield next to a frolicsome Tom Cleverley and a marvelous Michael Carrick who, although he always plays well against his old club, seems to be at a career high level of confidence.
And just how good is Robin van Persie? RVP’s 22nd goal of the season midway through the first half was a little bit of burglary out of Mission Impossible. After Kagawa picked the ball up in midfield, he pushed it to Carrick’s path. Carrick hit an exquisite cherry to Danny Welbeck on his left and the young Manc striker cut inside, seemed to dither a moment about taking a shot, before cleverly locating Cleverley. Just how Cleverley’s cross was found by the flying Dutchman, who was double marked by both Dawson and Caulker, managed to get to the ball is a miracle us mortals can contemplate upon. Once the cross reached Van Persie there was an inevitability about where it would finish. Shrugging the Spurs center backs aside, Van Persie headed the ball home. He now has 10 goals in his last 10 league matches.

Meanwhile, after the inevitable post-mortem on the match. Super Gary Neville

*That sexy young girl is now a fat housewife!”

Fred Karno Lives!

Posted by Ivor Irwin on December 28, 2012 at 12:21 pm England, EPL, European Champions League, Manchester United, Newcastle United

Dec 282012

“Fred Karno’s? It was a circus that came around. A working class circus in the Twenties. Any situation that’s vaguely out of control, innit? Any situation which is daft in Manchester.”——–Joan Louiza
Manchester United 3-2 Newcastle United
Yet another comedy of errors at Old Trafford. Having been unable to score against a dogged Swansea city defense last week, fans clearly went into this one worried that United’s defensive back line, who have been playing in an inexplicably bizarre manner that brings together both a nonchalant meekness and a stultifying arrogance, would once again be rescued by its fantastic forward line, which surely couldn’t hiccup in front of goal for more than one game in a row. Over an angina-inducing afternoon of thrills and reverses, during a dog-eat-dog match played in the torrential rain on a soggy pitch, the whole thing came down to a last minute flash of 90th minute brilliance, as Javíer ‘Chicharito’ Hernández, who had squandered at least eight good opportunities from setups of varying degrees of quality, slid in brilliantly to connect with a perfect Michael Carrick pass and fire it past a flailing Tim Krul into the Newcastle net. An emotional moment for fans indeed, but one that had United’s usually reserved and semidetached manager Sir Alex Ferguson so pumped up that he jumped into the open arms of his joyful assistant Mike Phelan to celebrate.

Another goofy aspect of this comedy of errors was the eccentric behavior of the game’s referee Mike Dean. The whistle-happy Dean seemed to be in his element. Inconsistent throughout, turning a blind eye to a number of blatant tackles while penalizing far more ticky-tacky bits of gamesmanship, Dean may have been petty, but he was also absolutely unbiased. His worse bit of meddlesome interference, however, involved his wishy-washy reaction to Newcastle’s second goal when an arguably offside Demba Ba tussled with Jonny Evans, who accidentally pushed the ball into his own goal with the Senegalese striker bearing down on him. Having called the goal offside initially, Dean discussed the matter with two assistants before overruling himself. Additionally, there was a long drawn out unnecessary piece of drama late in the game involving Rio Ferdinand, Fabio Coloccini and Newcastle’s assistant John Carver, which United’s captain Patrice Evra seemed to need to solve while Dean stood explaining himself ad infinitum to the four as if he were a celebrity judge in a talent contest.

With Wayne Rooney, Ashley Young and Danny Welbeck all incapacitated for United and the Magpies’ star midfield of Yohan Cabaye, Jason Guttíerez and Cheik Tioté all out, too, both sides’ benches were bound to be tested.

Just four minute in, a long clumsy attempt at a crossfield pass by Hernández went in the direction of Michael Carrick, who overran the ball, allowing Demba Ba to pick it up. Ba’s shot was easily saved by David De Gea, although for some reason the young Spanish goalkeeper forgot his fundamentals, palming it forward instead of gathering it up or punching the ball sideways. The ball then bounced straight back into the path of a marauding James Perch, who proceeded to hammer home his first ever Premier League goal.

In the 26th minute United equalized as a Robin van Persie free-kick swung in from the right. It was then headed on softly by Ryan Giggs. A panicked Newcastle defense then failed to clear the bobbling ball, before Tim Krul made a hash of gathering up Hernández’s close range shot and Evans threw his body into the six yard boss to force the loose ball in.

Two minutes later, the slapstick was ratcheted up as a Danny Simpson cross was turned in by a panicked Evans as a big Papiss Cisse bore down on him. While the Belfast boy clasped his head in despair, clearly not thinking anything about an offside call, across the field, the referee’s assistant James Collin had raised his flag, doubtless thinking that the last touch of the ball was from an offside Papiss Cissé. Then Dean, surrounded while being verbally harangued by Newcastle players, consulted his assistants and changed his mind to allow the goal after all.

When it was time for the second half, United were first out, playing grinning keepy-uppies as the rain still fell and a furious, ruddy-jowled Sir Alex Ferguson argued animatedly with Dean, Collin, and the fourth official, Neil Swarbrick, still obsessing over Evans’ own goal. When the game finally did begin again, Newcastle seemed slightly deflated when, in the 58th minute, a Van Persie volley was only lightly blocked by Mike Williamson. The ball bounced to Evra–who has a history of blasting the ball wide in such situations–but the Frenchman, possibly having his worst single defensive performance ever in a United kit–fired a perfect left-footed daisy-cutter home to beat Krul and make the score 2-2.

Ten minutes later, as United abandoned all joke attempts at defending null and void for good, they were sucker-punched royally yet again. This time, Gabriel Obertan–formerly hip-hop partner in anarchy with Ravel Morrison and Bebe in United’s bench riding squad–on as a second-half replacement for the Magpies, sprinted down the left wing completely unopposed before gently passing into United’s box for no one in particular. Unattended by Carrick, Evans or Ferdinand–who may well have been discussing their Christmas presents or the new Tarantino movie–Papiss Cissé, free as a bird, took three quick steps before hammering home a left-footed thunderbolt past David De Gea. At that moment, with the Geordie team leading 3-2, the rain temporarily slacked off and the Stretford End faithful sang “You don’t know what you’re doing!” although I’m genuinely not sure who their singing was directed at.

But all that Geordie passion and bravery only remained in ascendence for three thin minutes as an Antonio Valencia pass from the right was dead on the money to Robin Van Persie. Van Persie–who had been United’s Mr. Everything on a night on which everyone was convinced Wayne Rooney would surely be missed, was brilliant, making scores of superb slide rule-passes and repeatedly firing in dangerous, accurate free kicks and corners–had a thumping shot saved by Krul, before collecting the rebound and this time converting to force the score to 3-3.

Seconds later, a Sammy Amoebi shot rebounded off the post into De Gea’s arms. Yet, with ten minutes to go, there were Rio Ferdinand, substitute Nemanja Vidic and temporary right back Chris Smalling all marauding upfield. With baited breath, sensing the kill was coming from one side or the other, United fans breathed a sigh of relief as both Ameobi brothers made a successive hash out of runs down the wing.

The final coup-de-grace, however, came out of an inocuous throw in from Evra to Carrick. when Anita missed making a connection to James Perch, Carrick was in there. Striding forward, the Newcastle-born midfielder let fly with as good a quality slide-rule pass as he’ll ever make. Right into the path of a sprinting Chicharito, who slid into the ball exquisitely, forcing it into the net for the winner.

With Ferguson going nuts on the sidelines, the crowd singing and the clock ticking down, the whistle blew accompanied by a last bit of drama as Vernon Anita made a meal out of a hard. late tackle bestowed upon on him by an unbelievably amped-up Antonio Valencia. Yet, as Anita was being taken off on a stretcher, he rose miraculously and, set down by the bewildered emergency workers, was energetic enough to run and confront a deliriously happy Patrice Evra in mid celebration. It was as crazy a professional football match aas I have ever witnessed and surely, somewhere out there, the ghost of Fred Karno was grinning.
Thanks to the miracle of my trusty Blackberry–the Hummer of cell phones–I was connected to my beloved Aunty Joan as she was attempting to make her exit from the stadium. It had, she informed me, finally quit raining simultaneous to the blowing of the final whistle.

“Craziest game ever,” I said.

“Fred Karno’s got nothing on this!” she said. “I am an elderly woman and I believe they are out to kill me.”

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