Which Wrestling Villain Is Luis Suarez?

International breaks suck. Especially when your favorite nation (USA!!! USA!!!) has already qualified and doesn’t really have a shot at playing for a seed.

I could continue to harp on how bad of an idea Liverpool’s new three center back system is. If I wanted to, I could talk about how super awesome Daniel Sturridge is. Heck, I probably SHOULD be writing about how it’s okay for us to go ahead and believe that title No.19 is quickly becoming a legitimate possibility.

But that’s boring and there’s a million places you can go for such talk. I’m here to talk about the real issues.

Like which professional wrestling villain is more comparable to Luis Suarez.

Suarez is despised by just about everyone who doesn’t support Liverpool (and even some Liverpool supporters have been turned off by his summer antics) but at the end of the day he’s still must-see TV. He’s arguably the third best player in the world. He loves to go to ground easily around the box. He’s got all the ingredients to be a classic wrestling villain. Let’s see how he stacks up to the some  of the greatest villains in wrestling history, with their ranking according to a recent WWE list (which can be found here)…

*Full Disclosure: I’m 25 years old, so unfortunately you won’t find any discussions of Sgt. Slaughter or Killer Kowalski in this list*

Vickie Guerrero

Excuse me…Excuse Me…EXCUSE ME!!!

Technically she never enters the ring, but the former GM of Monday Night Raw is incredibly annoying. “Annoying” is probably the one word that best describes Luis Suarez. Guerrero is always being interrupted by the crowd and constantly has to ask for everyone’s attention to get her message out. Suarez also tends to find his runs into the box interrupted by defenders and often has to plead with the referee for some attention.

Iron Sheik

This is about as old school as it will get in this discussion (other than my top pick, who will be revealed shortly). An over the top stereotype, the Iron Sheik loved to run his mouth and still does quite  a bit on Twitter these days. He was often the embodiment of America’s political enemies. Suarez doesn’t really fit in here except I think there’s a bit of an element of racism in the way he is treated. Plenty of players dive as often as he does, but in general I think Hispanic players bear the brunt of the wrath of the general public. There’s an unfair association with diving and Cental/South America and Suarez embodies that association.

Kane

No comparison here, I just wanted to give a shout out to (Spoiler Alert!) the Undertaker’s brother. Kane is absolutely terrifying and let’s no man intimidate him. Luis Suarez does not have any such characteristics.

Randy Orton

Orton’s nickname is “the Viper” and Luis Suarez is often viewed as something of a snake. I don’t disagree. Both of these men love to lie low and strike at the most opportune moment.

Edge, The Rated-R Superstar

Edge is just a flat out unlikable d-bag. Most people outside of Liverpool’s loyal ranks would probably tend to agree. His finishing move (SPEAR!) is a little too physical for the likes of Suarez, but the level of contempt among the general population for both is pretty comparable. Edge often likes to whine when he doesn’t get his way and Suarez was pretty whiny over the summer when he tried to force his way out of Liverpool.

Chris “Y2J” Jericho

Now we’re getting closer to a legitimate comparison. Jericho’s ego is one of the largest in the history of professional wrestling (and that’s saying something) and Suarez showed us a glimpse of such ego during his summer drama. Both of these men love to troll their haters and seem to feed off of the hatred. They are the best at what they do and are incredibly entertaining, no matter how despicable they may behave at any given time.

Ric Flair (1…2…3…WINNER!!!)

Here’s my pick for the most accurate comparison. Flair is an all-time great among the wrestling ranks. Suarez still has a way to go in his career, but his ability easily belongs in the Top 5 of current footballers. Like Jericho, Flair fed off the negative energy and entertained even the most ardent of his haters.

The biggest trait they both share is their “sneakiness”. Flair resorted to downright dirty tactics and did whatever it took to win. Likewise, Suarez has earned his reputation as a diver and is no stranger to dirty tactics (see: Branislav Ivanovic’s arm). It is the combination of this “sneakiness” and their ability (both of which are simultaneously connected and completely separate) that makes such a match made in infamy.

Both of them also have a…here it comes…FLAIR for the dramatic!!! Goodnight everybody!

 

What do you think? Is there another wrestling villain out there who is comparable to the polarizing Uruguayan?